Just Another Day in Paradise
by Rachel L. M
Summary: Then the Vulcan punched him hard in the arm for good measure and walked out of the closet.


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.

A/N: Good God, why am I writing this? But seriously, am I the only one who noticed that Spock is really sexy when he runs? Might be borderline crack.

**Just Another Day in Paradise**

It had been a surprisingly abnormal day aboard the USS Enterprise. No evil aliens attacking their ship, no crazy transporter problems, and no major arguments between the Captain and his First Officer. Which was more than a little out of the norm, but the bridge crew didn't mind at all. It meant they could get their work done with fewer distractions, and with the amount they always had to complete, that was a very good thing, because when the two men who are supposed to be running this ship and keeping order are engaging in a fist fight over some stupid, immature thing the Captain did to the normally calm, reserved Commander, you tend to want to watch. But today there had been none of that. It was such a quiet day that it left many crew members with a bad feeling in the pit of their stomachs. They could sense the impending terror. And it had been this way for a while now. The two just didn't fight the way they used to.

_Maybe they...oh God I hope not. _One Dr. Leonard McCoy thought to himself as he walked down the very busy hall toward the observation deck. He was rarely ever on the bridge these days, but word traveled quickly about those two and their brawls. Besides, he was more often than not the one fixing Jim up, and on the odd occasions when Kirk actually managed to land a hit or two on Spock before he was pinched out, Spock. Bones sighed at the thought of those two crazy idiots. _I'm getting a head ache just thinking about them._

While it had been a quiet day on the bridge, the flu had been going around the ship, and Bones had had one hell of a day dealing with sneezing, slobbery, crewmen who apparently had been in space so long they forgot how to use a tissue.

In any case, Bones was now heading towards Observation Deck 1 with the full intention to kick back and relax for a little while. He desperately needed a little peace and quiet in his day.

"Come on Spock! It was just a joke! Put the phaser _down_!" And _Jesus Christ help me now_ that was Jim's voice screaming louder than was probably necessary and that was Jim himself running down the hallway, pushing people out of the way and jumping the random obstacle as he went. And _that_ was Spock; the green-blooded know it all, chasing Jim down (and catching up pretty quickly) phaser in hand and annoyingly blank expression still in place, though you could practically see the anger coming from the Vulcan.

Kirk ran past Bones and flashed a hundred watt smile as he flew by. Spock wasn't far behind at all, and he completely ignored Bones.

Bones smiled and turned to follow the chase scene unfolding. He'd try harder to stop the angry Vulcan, but Jim probably deserved what he had coming. Forget peace and quiet. This could turn out to be the most exciting thing to happen on the Enterprise thus far.

The next shout came as "Can we at least stop running for a minute?!" And Bones laughed at that because only Jim could ask the person seemingly hell bent on killing him with a phaser if they could stop running for a bit.

But the chase halted not too far down the hall. Spock still had the phaser trained on Kirk and calmly said "Captain, I strongly suggest you explain your previous actions and intentions."

Bones finally caught up, but he kept his distance and stood a few feet away, arms crossed, ready to watch. And help possibly if there came a point in this encounter in which one of the party of two starting rapidly losing blood. Basically, he would be here when Jim got his ass kicked, but he would _not_ step in until he was unconscious and teetering on the fence that separated life and death.

"Listen," Jim started "Spocky-poo." At that crack, Spock raised the phaser so it was no longer aimed at Jim's chest, but instead at his head.

_Not a good idea Jim._

"Okay, _okay._ Just put the damned phaser _down_." Kirk held his hands up in defense. "I won't say it again."

Spock made no move to lower the weapon but spoke through heavily gritted teeth. "Your actions, _Captain_, have been most immature and completely unnecessary. We have a ship to run and your constant pranks are distracting to every crew member aboard this ship." And Spock is walking closer to Kirk, who has no where to go because his back just hit a wall.

By this point many of the other crewmen were gathering around, and there was quite a crowd surrounding the two hell raisers. _They really are still just kids._ Bones thought to himself.

He caught sight of Jim glancing toward the closet on the other side of the hall way and a few doors down. _That's Jim for you. Always with some half-assed plan._

"What's going on?" That was Sulu's voice. Bones looked over and noticed that most of the bridge crew had showed up to see the chaos ensue too. Chekov and Sulu were looking on excitedly while Uhura who was sending both Spock and Kirk disapproving glares, had her arms crossed over her chest, seemed amused none the less.

Bones turned to face Sulu, ignoring the argument that was becoming increasingly louder by the second. "Apparently our overly cocky Captain here did something that _really_ pissed off Spock, who's now trying to kill him."

Chekov's and Sulu's eyes both widened, but if Bones had to bet, he'd say it was in excitement.

Just then they turned back to the argument in time to hear Spock practically yell (in that calm way he does almost everything) "You gained nothing by adding numerous videos of your species in the act of sexual intercourse on my personal computer, Captain!"

Murmurs rose to a louder level at that and a few people even dared to laugh a little, Bones among them. While he disapproved of Jim's antics most of the time, he had actually gotten the Vulcan more riled up than any of the men and women on board had ever seen. And it sure as hell was great entertainment.

At that moment they all saw Kirk take off towards the closet a little ways down the hall. They also saw Spock take off after him and slide into the closet just before the doors slid shut. Bones knew that Jim probably hadn't bet on Spock being _that_ fast and had not intended on locking himself in the closet with the angry-beyond-return Vulcan. And Bones knew this because the next thing the small crowd heard was "Holy fuck Spock!"

This was preceded by lots of loud, banging noises as what Bones could guess was a whole lot of shit falling off shelves as Spock settled the argument once and for all.

The crew members closest to the closet, those being the three bridge crew members and Bones, could hear the words being exchanged inside.

"Ow, Spock!"

"It would be wise to hold still, Captain."

"Hold still?! Are you _trying _to kill me?"

Bones turned and continued his walk silently to the observation deck, but not before hearing a sigh of relief from Chekov and Sulu saying "At least everything is back to normal." He just smiled. _I guess on this ship chaos and hell raising passes as normal. Well with those two..._

Jim Kirk had his uniform pants pooled around his ankles and his golden-yellow shirt pushed up under his armpits. He was leaning against a wall of shelves in the closet and breathing heavily, stupid yet beautiful smile plastered across his face, complete with sweat soaked dirty blonde hair sticking to his forehead.

Spock was standing across for Kirk, a bit more composed. Then again _he _didn't just get fucked to within an inch of his life. He was doing up his pants when Kirk spoke.

"Damn, if _that's _what you do when I piss you off, I'll have to do it a lot more often." And he doubted anyone would believe him, but Spock _rolled his eyes_. Then the Vulcan punched him _hard _in the arm for good measure and walked out of the closet.

END


End file.
